Songs of Thankfulness and Praise 2: Be Still, My Soul

Last Friday, I received an email that was very exciting.  Turns out one of my co-workers has bee hives and, as it is the autumn, they are harvesting the honey.  This is exciting for 2 reasons–it is about as local as you can get because they live in the town north of us and that’s about as local as you can get.  I’ve been addicted to local honey and ever since I’ve been using it my allergies have been MUCH less awful.

The second reason is because local honey always reminds me of my dad.  He is a hobbyist apiary, which is a bee keeper.  He’s hilarious.  He is terrified of bees but he’s got this big suit and he loves building the hives, checking on the bees, and talking about how awesome honey is to anyone who will listen You know the dad from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” with the windex fixation?  Yeah, that’s my dad, only he’s German-Irish and he has a honey fixation.

I love my dad so much and he’s got a heart of gold.  Family is super important to him and he’s always been an encouragement to DH and I through our trial with infertility.  As a child, my dad worked all the time in the corporate world and traveled a lot.  He was a really devoted dad, but since he worked so much, the time we had with him was so precious and he and I rarely had heart to hearts.  However, there is one that he and I had when I was in middle school that I think about on a very regular basis.  I was really upset about something and I don’t remember what that was.  However, I do remember him knocking lightly on my door, and sitting on the end of my mint green and rose colored bed spread.  He told me he had something for me and it was a small lapel pin that he had been given or maybe he had found it.  The lapel pin had a bee on it and he explained the story about how long ago, scientists didn’t understand how such small wings could carry such a large body, and it was thought to be aerodynamically impossible.  He explained to me that bees work very hard to fly because it is how God designed them, and the science wasn’t advanced enough to understand what was going on.

I went looking for that pin a while ago, shortly after our infertility diagnosis, but it is long gone and I don’t know where it went. I wanted a token to help remind myself that I’m working very hard and persevering through this struggle because God designed me and placed the desire to be a mother in my heart.  What people thing is scientifically impossible, God can make possible.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.  Romans 5:1-5

Long story short, I purchased this sweet little cameo off Etsy. I’ve worn it every day I’ve been discouraged about our situation, plus every time we’ve had tests, blood draws, procedures or meetings with our doctor.

Needless to say, I’m wearing it tomorrow (Thursday) for our appointment today.  I’m really nervous about the results of our tests, especially because we haven’t heard anything about DH’s last semen analysis.  Last time the called us up the very next day.  

I wanted to find a hymn about perseverance or faith, or hope.  I couldn’t really find one that matched the Romans verse that I cling so tightly to, but while I was paging through the hymnal I came across this one in the section called “Hope and Comfort.”   If you’d like some scripture references for this hymn, check out Psalm 42:4-11, John 11:1-44, and Revelation 7:13-17 (there is that whole thing about God wiping my tears away again.  That’s twice this week. If it comes up again, I know God wants me to REALLY pay attention…) 

Be Still My Soul

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.